


ain't nobody (loves me better)

by anonymous_mystery95



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: F/F, mentioned character deaths, past westhawne and snowstorm, post 2x01 fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-21
Updated: 2015-11-21
Packaged: 2018-05-02 16:48:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5255978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anonymous_mystery95/pseuds/anonymous_mystery95
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the death of her fiance, Caitlin knows what Iris is going through. She had gone through it herself not so long ago, the heartache, the pain.</p>
<p>And in the arms of each other they find comfort.</p>
            </blockquote>





	ain't nobody (loves me better)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ElanneH](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElanneH/gifts).



After the day had passed, Iris had gone back to the West home, her apartment with Eddie cold and empty, his smile no longer lighting up the room, the energy and joy she associated with the rooms forever lost as he took a gun to his chest and killed himself. What if she grabbed her bedroom pillow to her chest, hugging it, wrapping her arms around it, a meager compensation when it was her fiance she wanted, her fiance’s torso she dreamed of feeling, of resting her head on. She would muffle her sobs against the thin material,  frame shaking as she let herself grieve, let herself truly feel the loss of the man who had come to mean so much to her. She would just stand there, minutes, hours passing as she clung to the pillow like an anchor, the only thing she had.

But then she would feel another’s hand brush against her shoulder, hands squeezing it in support. She would turn on her heel, surprised as Caitlin stood before her, a small broken look on her face as she looked on in empathy. The pillow would drop from Iris’ hands, those very arms wrapping themselves around Caitlin, the smaller girl sobbing into her chest, breath heaving as she cracked from the weight of her pain. And Caitlin’s arms would go around her, soothing circles rubbed into her back, words of consolation spoken in a soothing tone whispered in her ears. And Iris would hear the crack in Caitlin’s voice, she would feel her chest jolt as the doctor failed to hold back her own tears. She would speak, telling Iris, telling them  _both_  that it would get better, that they would recover, that they would be stronger. And Iris would cry into her sweater, asking if the pain ever truly went away after the first moment Caitlin had lost Ronnie, if the very thought of Eddie would stop feeling like a vice on her heart, squeezing what joy she had left in life. And Caitlin would state a firm yes,  that this was normal, that it would get better. And she promised Iris she would be there every single step of the way. It was a determined whisper, conviction filling her being, halting her tears temporarily. She continued to hold Iris as her sobs slowly waned, her face in the other woman’s hair, breathing in its scent, focussing on it.

They would pull apart slowly, faces a fraction away as Iris muttered a soft apology for breaking down before her. And Caitlin would take her chin in her fingers, lifting up her face as she swore before Iris that she would never have to apologise for doing that, swearing to be a shoulder to cry on, to lean on for support, every moment of every day and night. Her eyes would flash with a fierceness Iris would never expect, her own breath catching as she saw yet another side to the doctor. And their eyes would be locked, their breath ghosting the other’s mouth. And time would stop. Iris would make the first move, pressing her lips on Caitlin’s, unsure and probing, slightly hesitant at the other woman’s reaction. And she would be surprised, her stance stiff, softening as Iris’ mouth continued to move on her own. She would kiss back, the feeling of her lips different but pleasant, the pain of her loss fading away slowly. She knew it was a distraction for the both of them, something to cling to when the world had disintegrated, had fallen through their hands like sand. But it was what she wanted and it was what she  _needed_. It would be Caitlin’s hands that first slipped under Iris’ shirt, her thumb rubbing against the skin of Iris’ waist, her mouth swallowing the gasp of surprise from the other girl. Iris would smile wickedly against Caitlin, a pang of desire shooting through her at the touch, her body wanting more, simple making out no longer suffice. She would slip her own hands under her shirt, her palms pushing Caitlin closer, their bodies rubbing against each other as everything escalated between them. They would become more bold in their movements, Iris bunching Caitlin’s skirt at her waist, Caitlin teasing the zipper of Iris’ jeans, the button already popped open. 

But Iris would push Caitlin down on the edge of the bed, making use of her shock and compliance, and drop to her knees. And Caitlin would ask, voice thick with lust what she was doing, causing Iris to look up at her, a familiar sparkle in her eye, dimmed by loss, but still very much there.

And she would remind Caitlin that it was her wedding day and that she deserved to come at least once.

Then she put her mouth to good use.

She worked on Caitlin, the other already slightly wet, Iris enjoying the shameless moans leaving her. She could hear the shifts in her reactions, easily finding what would have her writhing for more, Caitlin’s hands clutching the blanket beside her, knuckles white from the force. 

Iris listened to the screams from the woman, not her name, never her name. Just incoherent ramblings and moans, the build up pushing her closer to the edge. 

She would be surprised however, when Barry’s name tore from Caitlin’s mouth, confused and slightly miffed she would look up, only to notice that Caitlin was staring at the doorway. Turning slightly everything would fall into place, Barry at the door frame, mouth agape as he watched it unfold. His name from her lips is what snapped him out of his daze, red tinting his cheeks as he explained his presence, of how Caitlin’s screams had worried him, how he didn’t think, he just rushed in here, his heart in his throat at the possibility of losing yet another person.

And Caitlin’s expression would soften at the words, beckoning him in the room, patting the spot next to him. He would sit there awkwardly, unsure of what his should do. Iris still kneeling between Caitlin’s spread legs, the scent of sex and arousal filling the air. Iris would get up, smiling at Barry as he looked at the floorboards staunchly, unable to look any of them in the eye. Caitlin would pull him into a hug as he sat beside her, thanking him for his concern, throwing Iris a look at the disbelieving snort that left her mouth. But his best friend would soften eventually, sitting on his other side, resting her head against his shoulder as they all bathed in the silence. Caitlin would yawn first, the physical tiredness soul finally catching up to that of her weary soul. She set off Iris, who mumbled to the two beside her a soft plea, asking them to not leave her alone tonight of all nights. They agreed instantly, a dismayed Caitlin apologising for not returning the favour, both her and Barry blushing as Iris winked at her, promising there would be a next time. They both crawled onto Iris’ old bed, looking at Barry expectantly as he stood up, waiting for him to join them. But he shook his head slowly, telling them he would stay awake for a bit longer, promising that he would never leave them. They would nod slowly, sliding under the blankets, arms wrapping around the other, providing strength for the other, the pain resounding in their hearts more loudly as they had nothing to distract them, to captivate them, but their thoughts. And they would fall into a fitful sleep, plagued by dreams of a future they were denied in this reality, of desires and fantasies that would never come into fruition.

And Barry would sit at the end of the bed watching them cling to each other, their tears sparkling in the dim light. He would watch them for hours, self loathing wreaking him, ripping him apart as he watched the two most important girls he had in his life cry themselves to sleep. 

Because it was because of him; Ronnie had died, Eddie had died because he had failed continuously where they succeeded. They did what he couldn’t and they lost their lives in the process.

He ruined everything he touched, he destroyed the lives of everyone he loved. Iris, Caitlin, his mother and father. Lives ruined because of him.

And Barry would get up to press a soft kiss to each of their cheeks, the salt of their tears burning his skin and he would promise them to never hurt another person again, he would swear that he would protect them and every one he knew. He wouldn’t fail them, not again.

And it would be in that moment Barry promised to work alone.


End file.
